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Over 50? You belong to a unique group of agers who have noticed that there are certain changes and mindsets you are beginning to have. Yes, your hair is turning grey and your eyes may need help with glasses, but in addition there are thoughts and feelings that accompany this older life that aren’t talked about often. This is a place where you may want to read up on this new way of life.
Aging doesn’t have to be a downhill run, full speed ahead. It can look like an easy walk in the park with lots of other experiences as you go forward. Would you like to be added to the advocates for mentally healthy aging? Join a group? Begin an advocacy group for better access to healthcare? We are the place to trade ideas and support one another.
A Working Definition of Love
Today was a good day to see love in action. The activities people do in service to one another gives us a great working definition of what love is. A woman who was taking her husband to the doctor, a friend who called to check in on another friend. A man calling a friend to set up a carpool to an event, a mother calling her adult daughter to see if they needed anything for an upcoming get together. A man tenderly kissing his wife. These are just a few of the ways we can mak
Mary O'Connor
20 hours ago1 min read
Stuck
Ever feel you can't get out of the rut you are in? Keep doing the same thing over and over and really not wanting to continue this way? For sure, many of us get into that rut of feeling stuck I had my computer keep freezing during zoom sessions and complained and did nothing about it until I finally couldn't take it anymore. When the repairman came, he ended up rewiring the whole house. Turns out our friendly neighborhood squirrel had eaten its way through the cable. The repa
Mary O'Connor
Mar 131 min read
The Benefits and Challenges of Dating Older Women and Men
Dating someone older can bring a unique set of experiences and perspectives to a relationship. Whether you are considering dating older women or men, understanding the benefits and challenges involved can help you navigate this path with confidence and clarity. This post explores what makes relationships with older partners rewarding, as well as the potential obstacles you might face. A quiet café setting with two coffee cups and a book on the table Why People Choose to Date
Mary O'Connor
Feb 174 min read
From Glam to Mam
Kay Luckett, Guest Writer I am a Baby Boomer who has followed the motto of my generation, “I will never get old”. That ‘old’ is a state of mind and emotions can be witnesses by the fact that my particular childhood lasted over 52 years. It was fun to be born to the wildly-dressed up generation who worked to legalize Marijuana, who hung out back-stage with rock stars, hitchhiked before it got stigmatized, who fellowshipped at rock concerts high on LSD, and who made the 70’s th
Mary O'Connor
Feb 152 min read
Riding the Waves of Sadness & Anxiety
Just knowing that our feelings are not always going to be happy, joyous and peaceful helps us know we aren't alone. We may often have a feeling of lonliness, loss or sadness. Losing our loved ones as we age of course brings about sadness. Losing mobility, having physical pain are reasons for having small bouts of frustration and depression. As we find a new ache or pain, experience the phenomenon of having our bodies lose ability to work like they used to work, so many docto
Mary O'Connor
Feb 92 min read
Prepare with Love
Of course non of us is getting out of this life alive, that we are all pretty sure of. But some of us have avoided planning for the after life by putting off a will or making arrangements for how and where we want to be buried or cremated. Denial of death is one of the reasons, and another is that we just don't take the time to take care of this important planning piece of our lives. When my father died at 57, my mother was left with more questions than answers. I remember wa
Mary O'Connor
Feb 83 min read
Adult Caregivers and their Spouses
For better or worse the vows said are taken seriously even when catastrophic illness hits the family. When the dementia symptoms begin to take place the first response from the person themselves and their spouse is to deny or minimize the situation. Second, they hope they can somehow or another find a doctor who will prescribe some medication to slow down the process or make it go away. One woman recalled how her husband was so irritable when he found himself coping with mem
Mary O'Connor
Feb 12 min read
Staying Connected for Your Health
Research indicates that maintaining connections as we age enhances both our physical and mental well-being. Dr. Amit Shah, a geriatrician at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, notes from his experience that factors often believed to be crucial for successful aging, like family longevity or absence of physical illnesses, do not necessarily ensure a positive aging experience. "What seems to matter most is the quality, duration, and nature of your relationships," he states. Dr. Shah
Mary O'Connor
Jan 311 min read
Pets Aren’t Perfect but They are Pure Love
When I decided to get my dog, it was my second golden retriever. I found Bailey online and brought my grandson with me to get him and hold him while I drove. Bailey was only 2 months old at the time. The first few weeks were challenging, but now he is eight and my best friend. He tells me when it is lunchtime and when we need to go for a walk. I try to keep his ears cleaned out and feed him every day. The best part of having a pet is the silent company they keep. They depend
Mary O'Connor
Jan 312 min read
Adult Children Living at Home
The phenonomen of adult children living at home with their parents is not new, but in recent years the numbers have increased to 20% of adult men are living with their parents, as seen on tv this morning. The silent resentments parents have revolve around their drain in finances. Some families are comfortable with the situation; the ones who are in conflict have been the ones I have seen over the years. One parent is fine with the arrangement, and the other parent is not happ
Mary O'Connor
Jan 193 min read
Listening Isn't as Easy as it Looks
Listening is not waiting for your turn to talk. I heard two people try to tell me something the other day, and though I thought I was listening to what they were saying, I had to clarify. I said, "Do you mean X?" They responded with a no, they meant Y. Again, I tried to summarize what I heard, and again, they said no, and in a different way, they explained their Y. Whew, listening for what people are saying and getting the true message is more complicated than it looks. As a
Mary O'Connor
Jan 11 min read
Feeling down? Want back up?
Feeling down every once in a while is a normal part of life, but if these feelings last a few weeks or months, you may have depression. Read this article to find common signs and symptoms of depression, treatment options, and if you or your loved one may be at risk for depression. What is depression? Depression is a mood disorder that can affect the way you feel, act, and think. Depression is a common problem among older adults, but clinical depression is not a normal part of
Mary O'Connor
Jan 16 min read
Thanks to Google. Access Resources on Mentally Healthy Aging
I asked my computer What cognitive behavioral therapy techniques help improve mental health in older adults? Here's whay it came up with: Thank you my Google friend! Comprehensive Mental Health & Aging Resources National Institute on Aging (NIA) – Mental and Emotional Health : Provides evidence-based research on coping with stress, managing emotions, and understanding the connection between mental and physical health. Emotionally Healthy Aging - Emotionally Healthy Aging :
Mary O'Connor
Jan 12 min read
Pretending Not to be Afraid
One of my favorite songs from Rogers and Hammerstein's The King and I , was whenever I feel afraid, I hold myself erect, and whistle a happy tune so no one will suspect I'm afraid. I emulated that behavior for years. Another favorite was Julie Andrew's words I have confidence in confidence What will this day be like? I wonder What will my future be? I wonder It could be so exciting To be out in the world To be free! My heart should be wildly rejoicing Oh, what's the matter wi
Mary O'Connor
Dec 31, 20252 min read
Harvard says: Our Brains need Good Food
Harvard contributor, Dr. Eva Selhub MD , in 2022, wrote an interesting blog about the importance Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps regulate sleep and appetite, mediate moods, and inhibit pain. Since about 95% of your serotonin is produced in your gastrointestinal tract, and your gastrointestinal tract is lined with a hundred million nerve cells, or neurons, it makes sense that the inner workings of your digestive system don't just help you digest food. The digestive
Mary O'Connor
Dec 8, 20252 min read
Is Love Letting Go of Fear?
In his best selling book written in the 1970's Jerry Jampolsky maintains that we are either connecting with love or protecting ourselves with fear. He worked with hundreds of individuals who shared that their anger and resentments had blocked them from connecting with loved ones. Lacking forgiveness, people emotionally dissipated into a state of unhappiness. By continually forgiving, maintains Jampolsky, we are putting ourselves in a state of willingness to let go of worry ab
Mary O'Connor
Dec 4, 20251 min read
Grief -an Overwhelming Feeling
The main thing I have heard from the people I talk to is that grief comes in waves, and it is up to us to ride them. Something on TV, a card you come across, a memory that pops into your head, none of these experiences are overwhelming until they get coupled with a warm feeling about that person we miss. The warm feelings are the missing pieces in our lives. Loved ones leave us with an emptiness that feels physical at times. The experience of the gut-wrenching feeling of loss
Mary O'Connor
Dec 1, 20251 min read
Put It on Hold
The art of not saying anything is becoming more and more popular as a tool to the aging process. Whereas I used to think when someone told me some problem they were having they were looking for a solution and I was the nearest person available, so I should say something. I found that no, that isn't quite so. They may be just talking out loud so they can hear it themselves while they think of what to do next. Then there is the direct question, "What do you think I should do?"
Mary O'Connor
Nov 14, 20251 min read
Necessary Losses
Losses are not easy to experience. The grief attached to loss seems to come in waves, when we least expect it. When we age, we start experiencing loss of hearing, diminished sight, flexibility, memory losses, and friends who were dear to us. Any of those losses alone are hard to take, let alone 2 or 3 at a time! These losses are especially painful when we think, inside, we are 35 or 40!
The normal road down aging lane is filled with finding others who too, are losing somet
Mary O'Connor
Nov 14, 20250 min read
Ten Ideas for Helping Ourselves
Establish Goals Take Care of Your Health Socialize in Interesting Environments Avoid Triggers Find New Ways to Have Fun Seek Professional Help Set Boundaries Focus on the Positive Encourage Yourself Seek Support with Trusted Friends
Mary O'Connor
Aug 19, 20251 min read
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