Today was a good day to see love in action. The activities people do in service to one another gives us a great working definition of what love is.  A woman who was taking her husband to the doctor, a friend who called to check in on another friend. A man calling a friend to set up a carpool to an event, a mother calling her adult daughter to see if they needed anything over there. A man tenderly kissing his wife. These are just a few of the ways we can make that love word ge

For better or worse the vows said are taken seriously even when catastrophic illness hits the family. When the dementia symptoms begin to take place the first response from the person themselves and their spouse is to deny or minimize the situation. Second, they hope they can somehow or another find a doctor who will prescribe some medication to slow down the process or make it go away. One woman recalled how her husband was so irritable when he found himself coping with mem

Research indicates that maintaining connections as we age enhances both our physical and mental well-being. Dr. Amit Shah, a geriatrician at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, notes from his experience that factors often believed to be crucial for successful aging, like family longevity or absence of physical illnesses, do not necessarily ensure a positive aging experience. "What seems to matter most is the quality, duration, and nature of your relationships," he states. Dr. Shah

When I decided to get my dog, it was my second golden retriever. I found Bailey online and brought my grandson with me to get him and hold him while I drove. Bailey was only 2 months old at the time. The first few weeks were challenging, but now he is eight and my best friend. He tells me when it is lunchtime and when we need to go for a walk. I try to keep his ears cleaned out and feed him every day. The best part of having a pet is the silent company they keep. They depend

The phenonomen of adult children living at home with their parents is not new, but in recent years the numbers have increased to 20% of adult men are living with their parents, as seen on tv this morning. The silent resentments parents have revolve around their drain in finances. Some families are comfortable with the situation; the ones who are in conflict have been the ones I have seen over the years. One parent is fine with the arrangement, and the other parent is not happ

Listening is not waiting for your turn to talk. I heard two people try to tell me something the other day, and though I thought I was listening to what they were saying, I had to clarify. I said, "Do you mean X?" They responded with a no, they meant Y. Again, I tried to summarize what I heard, and again, they said no, and in a different way, they explained their Y. Whew, listening for what people are saying and getting the true message is more complicated than it looks. As a

Feeling down every once in a while is a normal part of life, but if these feelings last a few weeks or months, you may have depression. Read this article to find common signs and symptoms of depression, treatment options, and if you or your loved one may be at risk for depression. What is depression? Depression is a mood disorder that can affect the way you feel, act, and think. Depression is a common problem among older adults, but clinical depression is not a normal part of

I asked my computer What cognitive behavioral therapy techniques help improve mental health in older adults? Here's whay it came up with: Thank you my Google friend! Comprehensive Mental Health & Aging Resources National Institute on Aging (NIA) –  Mental and Emotional Health :  Provides evidence-based research on coping with stress, managing emotions, and understanding the connection between mental and physical health. Emotionally Healthy Aging - Emotionally Healthy Aging :

One of my favorite songs from Rogers and Hammerstein's The King and I , was whenever I feel afraid, I hold myself erect, and whistle a happy tune so no one will suspect I'm afraid. I emulated that behavior for years. Another favorite was Julie Andrew's words I have confidence in confidence What will this day be like? I wonder What will my future be? I wonder It could be so exciting To be out in the world To be free! My heart should be wildly rejoicing Oh, what's the matter wi

Harvard contributor, Dr. Eva Selhub MD , in 2022, wrote an interesting blog about the importance Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps regulate sleep and appetite, mediate moods, and inhibit pain. Since about 95% of your serotonin is produced in your gastrointestinal tract, and your gastrointestinal tract is lined with a hundred million nerve cells, or neurons, it makes sense that the inner workings of your digestive system don't just help you digest food. The digestive

In his best selling book written in the 1970's Jerry Jampolsky maintains that we are either connecting with love or protecting ourselves with fear. He worked with hundreds of individuals who shared that their anger and resentments had blocked them from connecting with loved ones. Lacking forgiveness, people emotionally dissipated into a state of unhappiness. By continually forgiving, maintains Jampolsky, we are putting ourselves in a state of willingness to let go of worry ab

The main thing I have heard from the people I talk to is that grief comes in waves, and it is up to us to ride them. Something on TV, a card you come across, a memory that pops into your head, none of these experiences are overwhelming until they get coupled with a warm feeling about that person we miss. The warm feelings are the missing pieces in our lives. Loved ones leave us with an emptiness that feels physical at times. The experience of the gut-wrenching feeling of loss

The art of not saying anything is becoming more and more popular as a tool to the aging process. Whereas I used to think when someone told me some problem they were having they were looking for a solution and I was the nearest person available, so I should say something. I found that no, that isn't quite so. They may be just talking out loud so they can hear it themselves while they think of what to do next. Then there is the direct question, "What do you think I should do?"

Losses are not easy to experience. The grief attached to loss seems to come in waves, when we least expect it. When we age, we start experiencing loss of hearing, diminished sight, flexibility, memory losses, and friends who were dear to us. Any of those losses alone are hard to take, let alone 2 or 3 at a time! These losses are especially painful when we think, inside, we are 35 or 40! The normal road down aging lane is filled with finding others who too, are losing somet

Establish Goals Take Care of Your Health Socialize in Interesting Environments Avoid Triggers Find New Ways to Have Fun Seek Professional Help Set Boundaries Focus on the Positive Encourage Yourself Seek Support with Trusted Friends

Judging and criticism used to be a tool we used when raising kids. It doesn't work anymore. At All As a parent with my kids in the house, I probably gave 300 suggestions a day to the five of them. Today, with them approaching seniorhood themselves, they aren't a bit interested in directions from me but rather encouragement and appreciation. Got it. Early parenthood was filled with stress, organizing, feeding, wiping noses, cleaning, paying bills, driving, listening, filling o

Last night my O no, its is going to be awful brain took over and wouldn't let me sleep. It pictured tortuous scenarios of my future,...

So many people we talk to get stuck in the worry zone, or keep beating up on themselves for the past. The diversions you can practice can be of your own making. This morning I hopped on a virtual meeting, then walked the dog while playing some 70's music. Then I made breakfast and watched the morning show I love to watch and checked emails and set up my client charts for today. Have a load of diversion activities can stem the tide of those morose feelings we have built up and

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Yesterday I heard several stories from friends whose loved ones were going through difficult medical traumas. They had shoulder aches or...